#1 Cat Detective Agency: Vaginal Rings

22 May

I was talking to Molly (a nice persian who lives two doors down) through the window (she’s one of those outdoor cats so the closest i’ll get is the width of a piece of double glazing).  She said she’s had enough of being a kitten factory and would like the new vaginal ring.

However she didn’t really have a clue but knew that I have loads of contraception stuff lying around my house…I wish Mykie would tidy up sometimes!

MOLLY: Finners, do you think it’ll get lost up there?

FINLAY-JACK: No you daft moggy, where do you think it’s going to go??  Where do you think your Foo-Foo goes exactly?  There is no secret storage area or magical land of Narnia in there…fool!

M: Ok, kinda harsh Finners, but what if it falls out?

F-J: I’m a boy cat, but still I know enough to know that it’s not  just a big hole down there.  It’s not like a tube of Smarties that you tip up and sweets drop out.  Have you never even looked down there??

M: Fine, but what if I forget to take it out?

F-J: Do you have a vagina full of tampons?

M: No.

F-J: Well I’m sure you’ll remember to take your ring out as well.  If you can’t do that I think you should stop any activity that could lead to you reproducing.

It went on and on like this…she’s not the sharpest crayon in the box.

In the end I told her to check out talkchoice.

Hopefully she’ll learn something…ignorant moggy.

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