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Nº1CDA: More is less hypothesis-2,3,4 interesting.

3 Oct

Hello, we’ve been a bit lackadaisical at Wondercat for various reasons that will be posted about soon.

Remember the ongoing alcohol and hangovers experiment? we have results for trials 2-4…

Trials 2 and 3 were conducted in Brighton (which will be posted about soon).  Despite our advancing years we managed two consecutive nights of drinking and dancing (I never considered the additive effects of consecutive trials, I may need to update my protocols).  Sparing you the gory details for another time, this is all about the experiment after all…

Things were still going as predicted.  Hangover was just tiredness really so it seemed that still being drunk the next day confers hangover protection.  Damage to property is consistant with normal wear and tear…all going great!  So very pleased with the results!

Then…

Trial 4: Kimmer’s birthday drinks

Who knew we would end up dancing?  It wasn’t in the original plan, so I didn’t accessorise accordingly.

Alcohol consumed = so many bad things…Socio Rehab provided many cocktails (my new favourites being the Beyonce Diet Lemonade and the Screwball Martini). A Jagerbomb or twelve (or a *insert random alcohol* bomb-don’t ask it got confusing, just because you put in in a shot glass doesn’t make it a *something* bomb…a vodka and redbull is a vodka and redbull no matter how you serve it) was ingested through the evening.

Morning Status = Still Drunk

Hangover = Feel fine

Signs of Debauchery = Oh sweet Jesbudallah!

I managed, despite feeling terribly nauseated, to avoid vomiting in the taxi…this self control didn’t last to the front door…there is a grid on our street with most my internal organs down it (so exquisitely sophisticated, my head is hung).

Worst of all I LOST THIS!!!!!!!

MY TIFFANY RING!!!  IT’S GONE!!!!  LOST FOREVER SOMEWHERE!!!

I AM SO DEVASTATED!!! I GOT IT ON MY HONEYMOON!!!!

So, Mykie has paid the ultimate price in the name of science (that’s right, the ultimate price is accessory based).  Whist he may have formulated a way to avoid a hangover the cost of getting there in terms of accessory damage (and reputation damage) can be enormous.  I think he needs to apologise to the neighbours he woke up at 3am sobbing his heart out, vomiting his innards up, crawling down the street in the rain for an hour looking for jewellery…

Shame, Shame, Shame

Objects of our affection: Senti-mental?

24 Aug

House is being decorated…everywhere smells of paint which is pleasant at first but now the novelty has worn off.  The boys have bought new bedroom furniture which has resulted in less storage space (I’m not entirely sure why bedside tables costing ten times the old ones could have about a quarter of the space).

Traumatic for Mykie, not really an issue for Simon…

So, I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore…what am I going to do?  I’m not being contrary for the drama of it all, I’m just one of those people who gets attached to things and struggles to de-clutter.  The 8 ball from my old Uni flat (akin to keeping the obligatory student traffic cone/sign I know); I don’t require it to function on a daily basis, but, it reminds me off my student days.  The now tatty, plaid trousers I wore on my first date with Simon, I don’t wear them any more but the thought of discarding them fills me with sadness.  I could go on and on but suffice it to say that I have piles of things that do not serve any use and are taking up room.  I could put things in a memory box perhaps?  Been there, done that, memory boxes updated every year and filled to bursting.  I had to take the plunge and get ruthless.  Out went “The Endless” models, out went the empty Westwood and Tiffany & co. boxes, out went the tie I wore when I interviewed for my job, out went the never worn clothes picked up on holidays.

I found this extremely difficult and a little upsetting.  Simon on the other hand saw it as a great opportunity to de-clutter;  He doesn’t seem to get attached to clothes and inanimate objects as I do.  Simon’s wardrobe operates on a strict “one in, one out” policy, and not many things are above the “clutter cull” (the notable exceptions being the random trinkets, crochet, origami and other knick-knacks I give him as little gifts…nice, as I bet he’s itching to chuck them all).

Is it a negative trait to keep items for nostalgias sake?  Should memories be enough without the need for a trinket to attach them to?  Should we all learn to let go?

I find it strange how some people get attached to things.  I’ll happily chase anything if it’s woolly and moves about.

I think it’s about time Mykie got around to reading Bruce Hood’s Supersense.

Nº1 CDA: More is Less Hypothesis: Trial 1

17 Jul

Last night saw the first trial for More is Less 2010.

Plan for the weekend…let’s recap:

  • Drink then drink some more
  • Test level of intoxication next morning via comedy “nose touching/line walking” scenario
  • Rate level of hangover (from 1 to “oh god! why?!?!”)
  • Examine belongings for signs of debauch behaviour

It is a fair assessment that there was “drinking to excess” happening last night.  To the point of hangover-no-return…or was it?

A brief overview of proceedings is in order to make sure everything is well documented and above board (it is a rigorous and well planned experiment after all!).

Started the evening with a nice bottle of Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc with dinner.  Civilised, delightful…then it went down hill.

Arrived at Mr Moxleys lovely new apartment where we waved a sad goodbye to the last bottle of original recipe Sailor Jerry (Farewell my friend!  You have inspired many a bad idea and will be deeply missed!).  I also think there was some Vodka involved…things got a bit hazy.  On an unrelated note I made up with Danny (look at me growing and everything).

After a brief trip to GLAM finding it deserted, it was off to BOLLOX where I’d never been before; I was a Bollox virgin…but my hymen was soon torn asunder.

I was introduced to the “Jager Bomb” by Mr Whits which we indulged in probably more than we should have.  They seemed to bestow Mr Whits with the strength of ten men as he kept picking Ms Kimmers and I up together with a roar…leading to squeals as our wombs were squeezed to buggery.

He also kept knocking the cue ball around the room whilst playing pool (I don’t know when, how or why pool happened…it was a self-righteous shoe-icide)

Jager Bombs also inspired the accessory of the century…FRANK SIDEBOTTOM HEAD!!!!

I’ve never spent so long or had such a fun time with my head up something.

A good time was had by all…mucho alcohol was consumed…let the experimenting begin!

Intoxication Test:  Well I could touch my finger to my nose and walk in a straight line (or what I imagined may be a straight line as I couldn’t fine one…that’s scientific rigour for you), but I was still totally off my little titty bags until after midday.

Simons testimony: “You could touch your nose but you kept telling me and showing me with gob volume turned up to 11…and you were clomping around like a fool…you were still wankered love.”

HANGOVER RATING = 1

Yes! Fuck yes! No hangover for me!  Had a nice bowl of miso with prawns and enoki mushrooms (the best post drinking snack ever) and am just starting to feel sober (it’s 3.12 pm).

Mark one up for the More is Less Hypothesis!

Of course we need to repeat the experiment to build up a good data set…to the drinks mobile!!!

ACCESSORY INVESTIGATION

Somehow everything appears fine!!!  There was no cameo appearance of vomit on the taxi ride home…even the new Superstar aren’t all scuffed and dirty!  My Visa is a little bent from being in my pocket but that is reasonable wear and tear.  Unfortunately the Frank Sidebottom head didn’t last the night…some douche decided it would be fun to smash them up…what a wank faced super cunt…RIP Frank.

So…trial 1 has raised more questions!  It does appear to be possible to drink all night long, escape hangover and avoid ruining belongings!  How?  Was it the Jager Bombs?  Was it related to my broken Bollox hymen?  The experiment continues…

MAN BOOB MILK!

8 Jul

15 bizarre facts about men…

 

Sweet Jebus Hairy and Goat Sniff!…MEN CAN LACTATE??!

GROSS!..SO, SO GROSS!

The thought of semi-skimmed squirting from man titties makes me feel all queezy!

It seems to some blokes like a good idea…look at MILKMEN

And…some people think it’d be nice for gay adoptive parents…all I can say is that if Mykie or Simon pull out their man baps and attach a kid…I’M LEAVING!

 

Better news is the 5 calorie sperm! In your face Weight Watchers!…well maybe not in your face…I’ve gone to a bad mental place…

da da da da da…

CURRENT SOLAR SYSTEM-Astrologers, stick that up Uranus!

7 Jul

The Solar System has gone few a few changes in the last few years…additions, re-classifications and so on…

I thought I’d give a little overview…

  • 8 PLANETS

  • 4 PLUTOIDS

  • CERES

 

Planets

Inner

  • MERCURY

  • VENUS

  • EARTH-1 moon

  • MARS-2 moons (demios, phobos)

Outer

  • JUPITER-63 moons (largest are Ganymede, Callisto, Io and Europa)

  • SATURN-60 moons (Titan and Enceladus are geologically active)

  • URANUS-27 moons (largest are Titania, Oberon, Umbriel, Ariel and Miranda)

  • NEPTUNE-13 moons (The largest, Triton, is geologically active)

  

 PLUTOIDS

(farther out than Neptune)

  • PLUTO-1 moon (Charon), 2 moons orbit both Pluto and Charon (Nix, Hydra)

  • HAUMEA-egg shaped-2 moons (Hi’iaka, Namaka)

  • MAKEMAKE

  • ERIS-1 moon (dysnomia)

 

Asteroid Belt

(between inner and outer planets)

CERES

 

 

With all this stuff going on…how can astrologers possibly use the planets to predict anything?…my feline intuition suspects maybe it’s all just made up.

When astrologers tried previously to account for changes in the known solar system (the hypothesised planet VULCAN) and asigned influences preempting a discovery…

WHOOPS! Vulcan didn’t exist…I bet they felt silly!

#1CDA:Blow Jobs good for pregnancy!

30 Jun

Pregnant?…Folic Acid may not be the only thing you need to swallow!

From the Journal of Reproductive Immunology…

“While any exposure to a partner’s semen during sexual activity appears to decrease a woman’s chances for the various immunological disorders that can occur during pregnancy, immunological tolerance could be most quickly established through oral introduction and gastrointestinal absorption of semen.”

Generally, what they are saying is that your body needs to get used to your baby’s DNA which is half you and half the father…so open wide and take your medicine!

I’m shocked this isn’t common knowledge…I’m sure this is scientific gold to the partners of pregnant women!!!

Farrah, MJ…triad of death?…erm…no.

27 Jun

Everyone knows about the tragic deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson on Thursday just a few hours apart…

Amidst all the gossip is the notion of “bad things come in threes”…

Lets just think about this for a moment…I mean really think about it.

Why would this possibly happen?

If you suggest “celebrities die in threes” are you suggesting:

  • There is some Grim Reaper-esque agent that groups people into threes for collection?
  • That if a celebrity dies it starts some cosmic wheels in motion that leads to another two expiring?

And what are the conditions for these “threes”?

Ed McMahon died on Tuesday which a lot of people are grouping as the three…

  • But what are the time frames?…a day/week/month/hour/year?
  • What counts as celebrity?
  • Can they group into any other “threes”?…race/organisations/ages?

Aren’t there cases of celebrities dying in 1’s,2’s,4’s etc etc…?

I think it all comes down to CONFIRMATION BIAS.

You humans are pattern seeking creatures…

  • remember the times celebrities died in a so called “triad of death”
  • forget the times they don’t
  • create a pattern/linkage/relationship to create a triad

Me and my cat associates don’t give a crap…things happen by coincidence…

Maybe take a few moments to contemplate before asigning patterns to artifacts of time.